Thursday, September 2, 2010

Maybe it's gone.

I've had this idea in my head for a few days toward what I would post next, but I had a pretty difficult time actually getting myself to start writing. First, I was hesitant mostly because I couldn't think of anything recent worth exploring. It was when I realized that unanswerable questions like this one seem to stall more than a handful of processes that I felt almost silly approaching my reaction with more than a "Duh."

I cannot stand misplacing things, leaving plans to spontaneous dictation, and feeling unorganized. It is incredibly stressful to feel as if the solution to a puzzling inconvenience will save you from teetering on the edge of sanity. It has seemed perfectly superficial up until now, but after paying greater attention to my mental to-do list, I've  noticed it has become determinant of the winner between stillness and chaos. There's the calm, and then the storm, like day and night, or black and white.

 Too many times have I been addressed in regards to engulfing news by another person who claims that closure comes after acceptance. Accepting that there may and probably will never be an appropriate explanation to a pain-in-the-ass situation does not bring closure. But when it's really considered, what is so great about closure anyway?

That's the major fallacy here. We're closure-greedy problem solvers who need a fix, answer, or solution to any and all of our problems. While most are well aware that some things cannot be solved within our own worried minds, it's still too common where this fear prevents a person from pushing through and having the privilege to enjoy the recycled value in his or her initial impossibilities.

You will never know why events unfold in front of us the way they do. If it is comforting to believe that you really have as much control over your time-line as your guilt and shame intend you to, then go ahead and enjoy that cognitive highway. I'll warn you though, it's uncertain how far you'll be from the nearest exit.

Misplacing a tedious keepsake may cause you to feel as if you have never experienced such angst until then.  Having no solution to your most pertinent equation, on top of needing to accept that in order to rest, really is unfortunate. It really is. However, it can wait.

Sometimes you have to throw in the towel and surrender to imperfection. Curiosity killed the cat, and it did so before that cat could ever explain how it happened. We can try to explain hatred, heartbreak, disappointments, deaths, failure, and fortune, but like it's like I said: You'll be driving on a dark and windy road, with no clues as to where you're going.

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